Art by Manly Shark
It's always been a question of which was Kenter's first language: Russian or English (Kenter himself is of no help on the subject). But his elders certainly know the truth.
It was, most definately, Russian. Just ask Josef Alreya, Kenter's maternal grandfather. Kenter's first word was Deda
—short for Dedushka
—which means Grandpa
in Russian. And it makes perfect sense; Kenter's mother was born in the Motherland itself, and many of his maternal relatives speak Russian in the home. In what other language would a young Comrade whose bloodline hails from Glorious Mother Russia begin to speak?
It was English, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Just ask Dreysanius Acrutar, Kenter's father. Kenter's first word was Dada
(a baby's pronunciation of Daddy
). And it makes perfect sense, a young cub was born and raised in the US of A to a good ol' boy American father, raised to honour the Red, White, and Blue of the Star-Spangled Banner, would speak English from the beginning, and no other.
Clearly, it's time for Josef knows it's time to teach this Eagleland Idiot who stole his little girl a lesson in why you don't mess with Mother Russia.
Clearly, it's time for Dreysanius to give this Commie bastard who corrupted his kid a faceful of America, FUCK YEAH!
Besides, Kenter's watching. Both Josef and Dreysanius know the importance of setting a good example for the youth.